Mark Twain

The $30,000 Bequest and Other Stories Mark Twain

Publisher Marketing: This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1907 edition. Excerpt: ..."The Past Definite." "Send out and order it to the front--with chickens. And let them understand that we don't want any more of this cold indilference." He gave the order to an aide, adding, with a haunting tenderness in his tone and a watering mouth in his aspect: "Convey to them the conception that these are unprotected chickens." He turned to me, saluting with his hand to his temple, and explained, "It will inflame their interest in the poultry, sire." A few minutes elapsed. Then the squad marched in and formed up, their faces glowing with enthusiasm, and the file-leader shouted: "Ebbi polli, I had chickens!" "Good!" I said. "Go on, the next." "Arms11' polli, thou hadst chickens!" "Fine! Next!" "Eebe polli, he had chickens!" "'M0ltimoltissimo! Go on, the next!" "Avemmo polli, we had chickens!" "Basta-basta aspettatto avanti--last man--charge./" "Efibero polli, they had chickens!" Then they formed in echelon, by column of fours, refusing the left, and retired in great style on the double quick. I was enchanted, and said: "Now, doctor, that is something like! Chickens are the ticket, there is no doubt about it. What is the next squad?" "The Imperfect." "How does it go?" "Io aveva, I had: 14 avevi, thou hadst, egli aveva, he had, noi av--" "Wait--we've just had the hads. What are you giving me?" "But this is another breed." "What do we want of another breed? Isn't one breed enough? Had is HAD, and your tricking it out in a fresh way of spelling isn't going to make... Contributor Bio:  Twain, Mark Mark Twain, born Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was an American humorist and writer, who is best known for his enduring novels The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which has been called "the Great American Novel." Raised in Hannibal, Missouri, Twain held a variety of jobs including typesetter, riverboat pilot, and miner before achieving nationwide attention for his work as a journalist with "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County." He earned critical and popular praise for his wit and enjoyed a successful career as a public speaker in addition to his writing. Twain's works were remarkable for his ability to capture colloquial speech, although his adherence to the vernacular of the time has resulted in the suppression of his works by schools in modern times. Twain's birth in 1835 coincided with a visit by Halley's Comet, and Twain predicted, accurately, that he would "go out with it" as well, dying the day following the comet's return in 1910.