Rabindranath Tagore

Mashi Rabindranath Tagore

Hearing that Mani had wept at the mere thought of going to her father's house, Jotinwas so excited that he sat up in bed. Pulling his pillow towards him, he leaned back, andsaid: 'Mashi, open this window a little, and take that lamp away.'The still night stood silently at the window like a pilgrim of eternity; and the stars gazedin, witnesses through untold ages of countless death-scenes. Jotin saw his Mani's face traced on the background of the dark night, and saw those twobig dark eyes brimming over with tears, as it were for all eternity. Mashi felt relieved when she saw him so quiet, thinking he was asleep. Suddenly he started up, and said: 'Mashi, you all thought that Mani was too frivolousever to be happy in our house. But you see now--''Yes, I see now, my Baba, [3] I was mistaken-but trial tests a person.''Mashi!''Do try to sleep, dear!''Let me think a little, let me talk. Don't be vexed, Mashi!''Very well.''Once, when I used to think I could not win Mani's heart, I bore it silently. But you--''No, dear, I won't allow you to say that; I also bore it.''Our minds, you know, are not clods of earth which you can possess by merely pickingup. I felt that Mani did not know her own mind, and that one day at some great shock--''Yes, Jotin, you are right.''Therefore I never took much notice of her waywardness.'Mashi remained silent, suppressing a sigh. Not once, but often she had seen Jotinspending the night on the verandah wet with the splashing rain, yet not caring to go into hisbedroom. Many a day he lay with a throbbing head, longing, she knew, that Mani wouldcome and soothe his brow, while Mani was getting ready to go to the theatre. Yet whenMashi went to fan him, he sent her away petulantly. She alone knew what pain lay hiddenin that distress. Again and again she had wanted to say to Jotin: 'Don't pay so muchattention to that silly child, my dear; let her learn to want, -to cry for things.' But thesethings cannot be said, and are apt to be misunderstood. Jotin had in his heart a shrine setup to the goddess Woman, and there Mani had her throne. It was hard for him to imaginethat his own fate was to be denied his share of the wine of love poured out by that divinity. Therefore the worship went on, the sacrifice was offered, and the hope of a boon nevercease